The Final Twist
When I was seven years old I knew I wanted to join a sport.
Since the time I could walk, I was a very active child. I wanted to join
something that I can one day call home. When my family and I attended one of my
cousins YAFL games, I knew what I wanted to do for 11 more years. Not knowing
that my love and passion for something would turn into fear and regret, my very
last year.
While growing up can be hard, joining a cheer team and being
a good cheerleader could be as equally challenging. I started cheer when I was
seven years old and I was terrified. I was a very shy child so yelling and
intimidating the other team showed to be a bit more challenging for me. YAFL
was a cheer leading team where you did not have to try out. You signed up and
you were on the team. I cheered for younger and older boys up until I was about
to start high school. Eventually, I broke out of my shell and realized that
cheer leading was where my true happiness lived.
I get to the high school for practice try-outs and realize
that I am completely un-prepared. The other cheerleaders were dressed in red
white and blue attire, their hair tied tightly into a high ponytail. The smell
of fear and sweat fills the gym. My heart soon begins to beat faster and faster,
my palms sweat with fear, and my body becomes stiff. To make the team I need to have a
back-handspring. Which of course I don’t
have. YAFL was not really pushy about the skills you needed to become a great
cheerleader. As soon as I get home from the practice try –outs I tell my mom to
enroll me in tumbling classes. My first day of class is finally here and I’m
determined to get my back handspring. Actual try-outs are next week. As I’m in
tumbling class I push myself to new stakes. Thinking to myself, “Get your back
handspring,get it!” With determination and excitement I push myself to the
fullest. There is 30 minutes left of class and I finally have my back
handspring by myself. With determination and heart I knew I could get it and
within the first day. I was proud of myself. It takes most girls months to get
their back handsprings but I did it. Friday finally comes, I attend try-outs. Excitement
and butterflies fill my stomach, it’s my turn to try-out. I perform the chant and my new
tumbling skills and at last I make varsity cheer my freshman year of high
school. While still going to tumbling
classes I soon become the bets tumbler on the team. Performing 6 back
handsprings to a tuck, round-off back handspring to a layout and many more
skills. To me, practices were never a drag, it was always a new day to gain new
skills. They eventually made me a flyer
which I loved even more than tumbling. The feeling of being in the air and
performing skills that not many people can do was amazing.
( Picture of me as a flyer.)
Fast forward to my
junior year, I am at a new school and I am on a new team. This team is much
bigger and more advanced. Although I’m joining a new team I am one of the best
cheerleaders. I begin to gain new skills almost every month. When you are a
cheerleader one of the highest skills you can gain is a full twisting layout
also known as a full. By the middle of the season I gain my full. When throwing
this full it was a rush of adrenaline. Every move made my body tingle with
fear. I loved having my full but actually throwing it was the hard part. Before
I throw it, my hands start to sweat, my body begins to tingle, my mind tells
itself,” you can do it, just set.” I throw it for the first time at practice
and I land it. At cheer competitions I gain my team more points. Not only is it
worth a lot, the crowd loves it. One of my favorite memories of throwing my full is the accomplishment of landing it in front of the crowd. The music is playing and it’s
my turn to tumble, I throw my full twisting layout and the crowd goes wild. I
hear cheers throughout the whole gym, I hear clapping and screaming and it
gives me chills. I wave and smile and then continue with the routine.
It’s my senior year and I am more than excited. It’s going
to be the best year ever and I am at the pike of my cheer leading career. Our
first competition is December 13th and I can’t wait. We start
practicing our routine and have learned more than half. With games
and school it starts to become stressful and I stop going to tumbling classes.
There is 3 days before competition, its parent night. While everyone is practicing
I throw my full once more. Except this time is very different. I throw it and
fall straight to the ground. The only thing you hear is a big boom and a loud
scream. I start crying, pain instantly hits my wrist and it begins to swell.
The pain is tingling and throbbing, and I can’t stop crying. I’m mad at myself
because now I know my fear will ruin me. I get to the hospital and I’m
terrified to find out the news of my hand. With tears rolling down my face I
find out that I did not break my wrist but I did twist it bad enough for it to swell and
stay swollen for days. The doctor tells me that l I can’t perform at
competition and I have been prescribed to take a break. A few months pass by
and it is state, the last completion of my whole cheer leading career. Ever since
my bad experience I have not thrown my full and have not been able to tumble
comfortably. Every time I try to tumble my body fills up with uncontrollable
fear, my mind begins to go crazy with the memory of falling. I finally gain the
courage to throw a back handspring tuck but can not do it without freaking myself
out. State went well and we placed 4th in our division. I’m proud of
my team but realize that I can’t continue with cheer after high school.
As I sit at our
cheer leading banquet I finally came to the realization that cheer is not for
me, my fear ran my heart out of my head and body. I no longer love the sport
and realized that continuing with it, would not benefit me in any way possible.
When a person loves a sport so much and something so tragic happens, there are
times when you realize you’re over it and that’s OK. I realized I was over
cheer through this traumatizing experience. As athletes there are times when we
realize it’s time to let go and that’s what I did. I realized that there is no
point in continuing if you’re not happy doing it. My lesson is that as an athlete we are given
a choice, continuing to do what you love or realize that what you love can make
you unhappy. When I stopped cheer I realized that I was happier then actually
doing it, the idea made me happier than actually performing.It became more of a chore than a sport. I loved cheer but
came to terms with it once I stopped, I learned that loving it was great but actually having time for myself to
reflect on the good times was even better. Leaving is not always easy but as
athletes there is always a right and wrong time to leave and only you know when
that is, live for the sport, and then live through the memories within your new
life away from it. Like they all say, "if you love something, let it go."
